Honoring My Father’s Wisdom This Fall

Honoring My Father’s Wisdom This Fall

The first day of fall always stirs a swirl of emotions within me. This year, the arrival of autumn carries an added weight, as I navigate life without my father, who was a monumental force in my life. His passing mid-summer has left emptiness, yet I am finding solace in the cyclical nature of existence. Just as birth follows death, our grief can birth new creativity and growth.

Fall has always been one of my favorite seasons, a time of transition that balances warmth and coolness, a contrast mirrored in its colors—melancholic yet refreshingly vibrant. The crisp air brings with it a sense of encouragement and possibility.

My father, of Ibanag descent from Isabella in the Cagayan region, lived through wars, cultural revolutions, and the technological age. He was a man of remarkable resilience and integrity. One of the greatest gifts he imparted to me was his sense of integrity, a value that sometimes felt challenging to embrace during my migration to North America. His steadfast belief that “brown is beautiful” was a cornerstone of his wisdom. Growing up in Manila, I faced the harsh realities of colorism, but my father's affirmation that “morena is beautiful” reshaped my self-perception in many ways. His words inspired self-worth and pride that I carry with me to this day.

As fall begins, I reflect on my father’s legacy with deep gratitude. His lineage and the inspiration he provided continue to resonate with me, despite the distances, challenges, and adversities we faced together. In many Indigenous cultures, fall signifies the harvest season—a time to collect the fruits of our labor and celebrate the wisdom gained through the cycles of life.

I often tell my daughter that while our bodies may pause their physical growth, our wisdom continually expands. This wisdom is drawn from experiences, stories from elders, and oral traditions that enrich our understanding. Sadly, our current educational systems often favor a “one size fits all” approach, gradually diminishing our ability to think critically and appreciate the depth of oral knowledge and practical learning.

Fall is a season of renewal. As the warmth of summer fades, it invites us to look inward, to assess how we can better ourselves and our lives. It’s a time to honor both our gains and losses, and to channel our experiences into creativity and new perspectives.

In this season of harvest, I celebrate my father's life and wisdom. I honor his legacy by nurturing the seeds he planted within me—seeds of integrity and self-love. As we move through this fall, I carry his memory and teachings with me, using them as a guide to continue growing and creating in his honor.

A huge part of me is you. I love you, Daddy Foya.